I, Michelle Grote, having been raised in a
Kentucky home, do solemnly swear to always drink sweet tea, never bake or cook
from a box or a bag, always stay relatively fashionable (unless my reality
starts to slowly melt around me and the only thing that will make it better is
cookie dough and a lack of pants), never spend stupid amounts of money on
things I can live with out (until they go on sale that is), always cheer
for the CATS (regardless of the sport), and always keep an open mind, heart,
and arms.
With that being said I also love a good game of
ultimate Frisbee, I’m obsessed with Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The
Hobbit, Star Trek TNG, Firefly, the walking dead, and now (no thanks to Netflix) Breaking Bad. I also love all Mario video games more than anything and Zelda
ocarina of time is my shit but, having grown up in a Kentucky home with a
mother who’s life goal was to be a southern bell, I learned how to act and
appear as lady like as possible even though as you can tell from the preceding
statements that I am by no means a proper lady. Now don’t get me wrong, I
really do only cook and bake from scratch, and I can DIY the crap out of some
crafts, and I enjoy all of it, but I will dive face first into a pit of mud in
order to catch a Frisbee. The hobo sleeping in the middle of the football field
that I tripped over when my friends and I played glow in the dark ultimate
could not make me drop the Frisbee. God himself could not have made me drop
that Frisbee.
On a completely separate note, I LOVE FOOD. It
doesn’t really matter much what you put in front of me, because I will eat it.
If I don’t like it, I’ll take 6 more bites then stop eating. If I DO like it,
please be sure to keep all small children outside of a 5 food radius of my
mouth while i eat. When I’m sad, food is the only thing that makes me happy. I
have literally almost pissed myself in excitement from food before. I got to
eat Antelope at a fancy restaurant once. It defined mouthgasm.
Having grown up in Kentucky (not near Louisville
thank god) I had no choice but to attend UK from the thousands of lady boners
that I had acquired for this school over my life span. So here I am, at UK, a
freshman, not really sure what the fuck I want to do for the next 40 or 50
years of my life (Hey, its a big commitment, I want to get it right from the
start), so I decided to write a blog instead of studying and doing homework.
Don’t judge, you look at Reddit, Facebook, and twitter just as much as I do.
Hopefully you will enjoy my blog, if not, no
offense taken, except I actually secretly hate you and will tell Santa not to
give you Christmas presents. But! For those of you who enjoy this first post
there are more random post’s to come! Some may be about successful cooking and
baking experiences that I wish to share with you, or horrible kitchen disasters
that will make great stories to tell your grandchildren, some may be about a
great cat sweater I found on sale on some black market website, but most likely
I will tell you about my adventures in both social and physical awkwardness,
hey, I may even put up some very poorly drawn illustrations of these
adventures, so enjoy.
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